High School Writing: ‘They Call Me a Knucklehead’ by Larry Lee Martinez

<h4><strong>LARRY LEE MARTINEZ</strong><br>1st Place – High School</h4>

<h3><em>They Call Me a Knucklehead</em></h3>

<p>
My name is Larry,<br>
But most days<br>
It comes with a sigh.
</p>

<p><em>Why can’t you be more like them?</em></p>

<p>
My older siblings,<br>
The examples,<br>
The success stories,<br>
The ones whose names<br>
Never need explaining.
</p>

<p>
I’m the loud one.<br>
The outgoing one.<br>
The knucklehead.
</p>

<p>
The one teachers think<br>
Isn’t paying attention<br>
Because I laugh too loud,<br>
Talk too much,<br>
Take up too much space.
</p>

<p>
They don’t always see<br>
That I understand.<br>
I just don’t always show it.
</p>

<p>
I’m smart.<br>
I know that now,<br>
But for a long time<br>
I hid it,<br>
Because being the funny one<br>
Felt safer<br>
Than being compared<br>
And coming up short.
</p>

<p>
At home,<br>
Comparisons hit harder than insults.
</p>

<p>
<em>Why aren’t your grades like theirs?</em><br>
<em>Why don’t you focus like them?</em><br>
<em>Why don’t you act your age?</em>
</p>

<p>
What they didn’t ask was<br>
Why I became this version of myself.
</p>

<p>
Being loud was armor,<br>
Being outgoing was survival,<br>
Being helpful was my way of saying,<br>
“I matter too,”<br>
Even if no one noticed.
</p>

<p>
I learned strength<br>
By showing up as myself<br>
In rooms that expected someone else.
</p>

<p>
By helping classmates<br>
Even when I was told<br>
To worry about my own work.
</p>

<p>
By laughing<br>
When quitting felt easier.
</p>

<p>
Resilience didn’t look like perfection for me.<br>
It looked like trying again<br>
After being dismissed.
</p>

<p>
Like choosing not to believe<br>
That being different<br>
Meant being less.
</p>

<p>
There were nights<br>
I wondered<br>
If I were just the mistake<br>
In a family full of success.
</p>

<p>
If being the knucklehead<br>
Was all I would ever be.
</p>

<p>
But courage showed up quietly<br>
The day I stopped apologizing<br>
For my personality.
</p>

<p>
The day I realized<br>
Being loud doesn’t mean being lost.<br>
That intelligence doesn’t disappear<br>
Just because it isn’t displayed<br>
The same way.
</p>

<p>
I don’t rise by becoming my siblings.<br>
I rise by becoming Larry.
</p>

<p>
The kid who helps without being asked.<br>
The guy who fills rooms with energy.<br>
The one who knows more than he lets on.<br>
The one still learning
</p>

<p>
That strength can be noisy,<br>
Resilience can laugh,<br>
And courage can look like<br>
Refusing to shrink.
</p>

<p>
Maybe I’m not like them.<br>
But I’m still standing.<br>
Still growing.<br>
Still here.<br>
And that counts for something.
</p>

<p><strong>12th Grade, Ánimo Watts</strong><br>
Guiding Teacher: Yvonne Lopez</p>